Here I am talking to the God of the universe, yet I find myself worrying about the tiniest thing that is money. Provision to be exact. “Lord, we have so many projects. Where will I get the money for all that You want to do?”

I sit here and write ever so blatantly. I’ve always had the means to do what He wanted me to do. Because He has always provided. Overflowingly, at that.

Almost two weeks ago, I registered my product and service business. Because I felt that it was time to make them public. I’ve been working and I’ve been working hard. Sometimes, too hard. With little to no money, considering the work-life-ministry balance. 

I’ve led people out of my own pocket just so I can see the fruition of God’s plans and purposes over their lives. And I regret nothing. 

But, tonight, I can’t help but think: “How on earth will all of these projects happen with just two fishes and five loaves?”

Kinda funny, if you think about it. But, not impossible. I have faith, but my heart is weary.

I, then, ask God again. With all my emotions at a disarray, with my mind in the state of haze. He, then, responds:

“Naku, anak. I am teaching you a very valuable lesson.”

Near in tears and the state of overreacting, He reminds me about Paul in

Philippians 4:11-13

“11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

My heart becomes less weary. My time limits start to adjust. I have a big God and He is controlling what is in me before He works what is around me.

I, then, remember that my life is His. And that He takes care of what He has called for. He, then, whispers:

“Anak, I care more about you than all of these projects. Let me work in you.”

What a great God. To be going through a test with Him at the very forefront. Guiding me. Molding me. For what’s coming next.

To be content in whatever circumstance. And to recognize that this God whom I serve is big. And He is in control.

Trust, Danielle. You’re gonna be alright.