Unrealized traumas and the fear of abandonment. I found myself sobbing over the fact that I may lose people I once held very dear to me.

Who knew that what it took were only few months to fully get attached and just a few days to realize that there is really something wrong.

I remember having a call with one of my bestfriends. I went hysterical over something that was triggering and that furthermore, triggered a fear deep down within me.

Do people just leave from my life?

Do I get attached only to force myself to dettach over and over again?

Again, I am no therapist. And I cannot talk myself out of this one. But God, surely knows how to calm me down.

In Luke 1:30, God told Mary to not be afraid. Such words resonnated with me, as I pleaded with God to end everything. Little did I know that that was pain and trauma talking. Heart on my sleeves, I do realize now that everything works out for the good of those who love God still (Romans 8:28)

And that any form of heartbreak- any form of lost relationship or forced dettachment- can lead people straight to Jesus. As it has led me first.

Everything, all things at the foot of the cross. Jesus, mold me to be the person I need to be for You- for Your kingdom. In the name of Jesus, amen.