It’s not easy living a blessed life. For blessings come in different forms.

Sometimes, being blessed means being happy. At times like this, being blessed means having the capacity to endure the wrong things in life- the problems.

I see problems that need solving. I feel responsible for the welfare of my nation. For to care for oneself is to care for her surroundings.

My heart beats for the poor. My heart beats for social and economic development my country so desperately needs. And I feel almost helpless. Numb and paralyzed because I have so many things to do with so little time and so many incapacities.

I sit here and let my desires just be desires- let impressions just be impressions. Because I do not know what to do.

Just like how I do not know what to do with us.

Part of me knows I do not wish to fall in love ever again. I guess that’s what happens when one has experienced one too many heartbreaks. It distorts your worldview on love. Love just becomes a nuisance. It may feed your soul, but it charges too high of a price- at least to me.

But, I guess, what we have is more than just love (i.e. to exaggerate). What we have is a partnership for the kingdom. What we have is a spiritual proposition by which the rest of God’s people will flourish from. I guess, it really is more than just love.

At one hand, I see the problems of this nation I was born in. And I do love my nation. At another, I see you and the life we can have together. Both equally important things to me. Both of equal value. Both revealed to me by God.

What’s left to do now is to act. Lord, teach me how to.