Routinary, stuck in a cycle
No longer that mindful of my every action
Just going through what life throws at me

Numb, almost numb
Numb to pain, even to excitement
Happiness, just a fleeting component to life
Nothing is really meant to stay
Despite how hard we try
Despite my dedication to make you stay
Despite how loud I cry for things to be right
I just wish being with you was right
But it wasn’t

Numb
I just feel numb
Is this the right response
Or is this a natural reaction
I can’t seem to have the things I want
I can’t seem to have you

Now, I’m on a loop
A cycle, a boring old routine
I laugh, but something in me wants new scenery
Something in me wants to feel that alive again
A feeling I felt with you

But not having you left an inclining
To not risk that much again
To start again without love in mind

I want to give up once more
I want to surrender without inhibition
To wave or to not wave the white flag?
A yearn for control I know I won’t be able to fully grasp
Because this one heck of a rollercoaster is run by only one operator
And He calls the shot

Boost my morale once more
Help me smile, laugh and mean it
Make me feel alive as only You can do
Allow me to feel that loving You is the best decision
Revive what’s dead in me
As if pain never really entered the scene
Heaven come down; do a miracle in me
This is my offering

This is my calling
This is the cross I’ll carry
I am a drink poured out
For You
For you