As a Lasallian, I grew up in a culture where excellence is the standard. Moreover, the standard is always met, if not exceeded. I grew up with peers who were better than me, if not at level with. I grew up with excellent, very knowledgeable, and skillful people. And I loved the challenge; I loved how my peers pushed me to be better than who I was before. I loved that they indirectly motivated me to maximize my potential.
But, I also noticed how excellence can just be a stand alone factor- how it can be a tool for constant competition with one another to boost egos. I saw how destructive skillfulness is on its own. I saw relationships broken. I saw the frequency of cheating. I saw lives destroyed.
Meanwhile, when I was still in college, I always wondered why God was focusing on my character. There was a certain season when everyday, God would point to me a flaw I had to surrender; He was really pruning me and working on my heart. Everybody else was striving for the next big thing or the next achievement to unlock or the next mountain to climb (making a name for themselves). But there I was, almost always being broken before God everyday over my own heart issues. I guess you could say that I was climbing my own mountains, but they were invisible ones; I was not on a visible platform.
I’m sharing this to you because right now, it already makes sense.
In our IYKYK week 2 series, something stood out to me about the case of David. In 1 Samuel, it was made clear that Saul was already rejected by God because of his disobedience and God made it clear to a prophet that he should anoint David to be the next king over His people. Who is David, you ask? Well, before being anointed, he was deemed as close to nobody; he wasn’t regarded with any potential to be king. He was a mere shepherd. But, 1 Samuel 16:7 states that:
“man looks on the outward appearance, the LORD looks on the heart”
It’s clear to me now that my struggles had purpose– that God was forming something in me to see if I “had what it takes” for the next level of anointing over my life. At least to me, it seems as if He wanted to see Who/who mattered to me more– was I going to give up or was I gonna let Him take over every area just as He demanded and just as I agreed upon?
What mattered to Him first was my heart– if it was upright (i.e. pure, innocent, blameless). And I guess, God’s ways are truly better and wiser.
Today, I see very skilled and very excellent people who are lost, anxious, and wayward. They get hooked on all kinds of dangerous and malicious schemes and I wonder if they are truly happy. I guess excellence is not all there is in life because for excellence to matter, God must breathe on it first– God must bless the work of your hands. Excellence must have a Godly purpose. Come to think of it, does excellence even matter if it’s not achieved for, with, and by God?
My heart beats for those whose hearts beat for God. Thank you for answering the call to serve Him. I pray that you’ll develop a heart that seeks to honor Him every step of the way, especially at times when it gets hard. God will honor your efforts and He will honor your tears. Remember that what matters first is your heart before Him and that He qualifies the called.
As I look at the life of David- what has become of him, I only wish to mimic his heart and devotion to God. And all I can say is that I’m truly grateful to be living this life with this God– a life where uprightness matters more than skillfulness– a life that loves God above all.