I was having my evening chill when something popped on my Instagram reels. At first glance, it seemed like the typical inauguration speech from a newly elected politician. At second glance, I realized that it was my former batch mate and classmate from uni; he was now elected as Mayor. At third glance, comparison crept in.

You might be familiar with the typical routine of a freelancer. I wake up whenever I want, sleep whenever I want, and simply hustle when it is demanded from me by my deadlines. I like my life. I am able to chill most of the time, while work towards long-term goals. Everything is good, but not until a simple social media algorithm decided to impart to me a very troubled feeling.

Have you ever felt like you could do so much more with your life? Like you could be someone great or at least greater than who you are now?

If you’re anything remotely similar to me or my age, I’m guessing you’ve already felt a slight fear of not being successful- of not living up to your potential- of not changing the world. Nothing really matters, they say. But, when you see someone who was once at the same level as you do something or be someone amazing, you’d second think if having that quatro at your Philosophy class truly translates into something beneficial in real life.

As everything seems to be crashing in on me once more, I go back to my safe space- my first Love.

As I revert my gaze upon You, my best friend, there is a shift of focus. Then, I ask: when has it stopped being about just the two of us- when our eyes would meet and I would deeply know that everything is alright? When have our conversations been reduced to just mere “hi’s” and “hello’s” when all I’d really need is to be tightly embraced by Your words?

We used to make the most of every second together; our banters would range from sunrise to sunsets. Now, life continues to intervene with our shared moments and I’d have to take the blame for not being readily strong- for not holding onto You tighter- for not consistently giving You the greatest reverence.

It was not until I questioned my life’s purpose that I remembered what really truly mattered.

And no, it was not about being better or at par with my peers. Some of them can be lawyers, mayors, councilors, and renowned influencers for all I care. What matters to me now is what mattered to me back then. And that’s to live a life in honor of You.

I live not to conquer giants, not to move mountains if it meant not doing it with and for You, otherwise. I’d rather be basic with You than be extra without You. I choose to honor you with the mediocrity that is my life. For if everything of me is what’s enough for you, then everything it is you shall take.

And in the rawness of these words, I offer a prayer to You. Lord, lead me to live a life that seeks to honor You and You alone. Help me achieve goals that have eternal impact. Help me change the world in my own way and with Your blessing. Lead me to what truly matters most.

“We all have our own paths”, my friend advised me as I filled her in on what’s happening to me. And to that I add that God has also timed every milestone in our individual lives perfectly. Our journeys may not look identical, but if lived out for the Lord, they have one thing in common: they will never be in vain.