Nothing makes sense
My head is forced to process what my heart persists to be in
I try to not let the past break into the present
For today seems like the glory day
And I’d do anything not to lose such a pleasant sight

But maybe this is my self trying to break free from the old
Old patterns of analysis until I drop dead
Remnants still present, ghosts still alive
I called Your name, but not really trusted what it meant
I gave up way too early before my breakthrough
Not having it in me to trust that You’ll come through

Writing now and it still doesn’t make sense
In the present, I still don’t understand
Is it me?
Am I too difficult?
Was he too early?
What do You want from me?
What do You require of me?

Not really wanting the process to end
But wanting You in the picture
Where are You taking me?
What is this for?
I know You’re not done

A part of me wishes I didn’t ask too many questions
A part of me wishes I didn’t demand too many answers
But I am dumbfounded
What is this for?

I know the answers I seek lies in You
And the point is still You
There is mystery as I write these pages
I, myself, am baffled by the sea of inquiries I find myself getting into

And the biggest mystery is still You
And I can’t wait ’til You unmask everything
I can’t wait until You reveal another aspect of Yourself
Making known to me how good of a God You really are
Humbling me further down; You alone deserve all the praise!

There is still thrill in U-us
We’re not an old, boring couple
And I thrive from Your every Word
Bringing healing to parts I didn’t know still hurt
Breathing life into every ounce of my body
You alone deserve all the praise!

So, for the second time around, I’ll seek Your voice and hear it out
Realizing that, in the first place, this was all orchestrated by You
And it’s You who’s gonna turn things around

As early as now
Right here in the middle
I honor You