“How can the heart keep beating after it has been crushed way too many times?”

She can’t even ask this question rhetorically. When she has exhausted all efforts trying to recover from seemingly unbearable pain, only to experience it yet again after a very short time, she cannot even be bothered to really get affected. She just needs a plain answer.

She becomes numb to pain. Her tolerance of the constant bullcrap life throws at her grows. She gets accustomed to disappointments, to inconsiderations, to heartbreak.

In the whirlwind of it all, the word “hope” may not even be possible to locate in her dictionary. Or to be honest, she’d deem it a downright disrespect to her state of grieving. Because it all just still hurts and there’s no any other feeling that dominates.

“How can the heart keep beating after it has been crushed way too many times?”

That is the question, isn’t it? And in its utterance for a second time, she finds herself finally calming down. There is a shift. She finds herself holding firm to the thought that this is not all there is- that pain is just as temporary as happiness. And that it’s a cycle one must embrace to really truly live.

And as she writes, she remembers an old worship phrase. She remembers her Creator. And that in every waking moment, may it be happy, sad, or borderline depressing, there will always be a reason to praise Him.

“How can the heart keep beating after it has been crushed way too many times?”

It’s found in the acceptance that life does not only consists of happy endings, but also of new beginnings. Some of which are, at times, camaflouged as pain and heartbreak.

And even in those painstaking moments, when her heart is as heavy as a hundred pound boulder, she looks at Him and smiles, “There is always a reason to praise You.”