It’s 2 am and all I can think about is the crippling idea of the future. As a very future-inclined person with health issues, who is also very much into independence, I can’t help to think about how I’m going to afford every possible scenario. Not dwelling on the if, but when the worst happens, this is what I do after hours- drown myself into thoughts and occasionally cry because of them. Yes, it sounds pathetic- like a bad scene from a movie, but this is how I usually am. 

I know what you’re thinking– where’s my faith, right? Here’s the thing, I don’t really believe that faith should be an excuse for not thinking. In fact, at most times, thinking actually leads to faith and faith can lead to more thinking. That’s not a bad thing. I also believe that we should respect each person’s level of faith. In short, we should respect a person’s choice to think in accordance to his/her level of faith

Romans 12:3 (ESV)

“…but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.”

So, it’s really not bad to think nor to think critically. In fact, it’s actually encouraged by the writers of Romans. But, when is it bad?

Going back, there I was. Thinking and thinking and thinking. And before I knew it, I was already overthinking. My chest starts to become tighter. The feeling of unease worsened. I started to become anxious.  And anxiety is never good.

This was my conclusion even after a session when my therapist suggested that anxiety can actually be good as it can cause one to act. 

But then again, act from where? From a place of uncomfort and uneasiness? 

This is not the will of God.

And this is where faith comes in.

I’m sure we are all aware of Philippians 4:6-7,  namely:

6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

But how many of us here are knowledgeable of its precursor in verse 5:

5… The Lord is at hand;

This entails that one shouldn’t be plainly and totally anxious because the Lord is ever so present. And when one operates from a place of anxiety, one is actually disregarding God and veering away from faith.

At least, this was true in my case. I didn’t act based on faith, I acted based on calculations, thinking that these can save me. But all they did was give false hope.

So, how should we handle overthinking which leads to anxiety?

Overthinking can be an ingredient towards building our faith. As we choose to always draw near to God by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, we kill anxiety.

Then, we can act based on faith and not anxiety. Then, we can move how God wants us to move. Then, we can have His peace amidst working.

James 2:17 (ESV)

17 So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

When I look back at that night, I now realize where I went wrong. I now realize the difference between acting from faith and acting from anxiety. I now realize what faith can be– it’s choosing to see God beyond the anxiety.