I sit here in my room and think about what you have done. Contemplating whether what you did was wrong or not. Whether it was lawful or unlawful. Thinking about how easy it was for you to end it all. Thinking about me and how I could let my heart cave in– when I knew all the risks.

Was it really that easy for you not to say a word? To glance at this broken world and sacrifice me, instead?

I sit here and cry my eyes out. I sit here amazed at how you could just end everything by not telling me.

I return to the One who holds my universe. I return to the One who knows me by name.

Matthew 3:15

15 But Jesus answered him, “Let it be so now, for thus it is fitting for us to fulfill all righteousness.” Then he consented.

I am not for public consumption. I am no sacrifice. At least, not without my consent.

But, God. God has allowed what He has allowed. In order for it to fulfill all righteousness. In order to bring about what He has planned not just for me, but for the people He loves.

Romans 8:28 still ringing a bell. For I know that all things will work out for my good– for the good of those who love God and who are called according to His purpose.

Let the greatest vengeance come from the Lord. And let not my work be in vain.